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What To Do When You Can't Cope

It can be frightening to reach the limit of what you can cope with. You can begin to feel like you're crazy and it seems as if no one understands what you are going through. You can feel alone which leads to hopelessness and this tends to lead people to believe that their behavior is wrong. This kind of thinking is another signal that you need help, support, and objectivity from people you trust.


Get Another Perspective

If you see that you are having trouble coping, instead of keeping it in, try to open up a little and get another person's perspective. A good way to know if your behavior is out of line is to talk and ask someone you trust. You'll have to make sure you really trust the person because sometimes you may not like what you hear. Find someone you trust, explain the situation and how you feel, then really listen to what the other person says.


Stop Negative Coping Behaviors

This process can be very difficult to do. This is because coping is how we avoid feeling uncomfortable with challenges in life. When you stop a negative coping behavior, you will be left with the feeling that you have been avoiding. Once you reach out to get help, you will have ceased making new problems for yourself. As you gradually put yourself and your life back together, a new person will emerge.


Be Good To Yourself

Reaching your limit is similar to being injured. What you need most at times, like these, is gentle care. It is nice to get that from other people, but sometimes others won't be there. There are plenty of ways to be good to yourself in tough times:

1. Lower your expectations of yourself: It is okay to lower your expectations of how well you have to do to be an "acceptable human being". Try to stay focused on the things you have done and be generous when evaluating your performance.

2. Make time for people you like: It is energizing to be with people who make you feel good about yourself and life. Stay away from people who are negative, hopeless, and into self-destructive behavior. Negativity is contagious!

3. Use positive self-talk: This sounds silly, but it really does help. Whenever you hear yourself using negative self-talk, substitute it with self-affirming statements. The way to start healing is to love and believe in yourself.

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