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Why is it Okay to Argue?

Updated: May 22, 2018

Some, like me, actually hate arguing. But what some may not see, is the fact that arguing can actually help you understand yourself.

"Arguments are healthy. They clear the air" - Anonymous


Many see arguing as a crack in a relationship, but the process of conflict and arguing facilitates talk and awareness of another's perspective. It is important to keep in mind that arguing can be beneficial to your health. It can lead to motivation and energy because it reminds us what is important to us--from our core values to the goals we have on a daily basis. Arguing gives us a chance to talk about how we feel, it gives us a voice.


1. Remember that arguing is not meant to be seen as a threat. It actually is intended to help your relationship grow and evolve so that you are able to understand your partner more. It can also help you grow to better understand yourself.

2. Make sure that you are ready to argue. One of the worst things you can do, when arguing with a friend or a significant other, is arguing when your emotions are still too raw to listen to the other person's feelings. Listening does not mean full acceptance, but it means you are able to understand another's perspective. That being said, arguing as soon at the subject comes up may not be the best idea.

3. You must be flexible while arguing. Most of us go into an argument with an idea of what the end result will be, but we should be open to change what we think after learning about a partner's view. This does not mean you have to bend your will, but we should be open to the possibility that changing your position is okay.

4. Remember that we are all vulnerable. We all have experiences that change the way we handle arguments. But if you change yourself, your partner may be willing to change as well.

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